It's Not Him
by celestialstarynight
Summary: Bluepluse drabble that takes place after Runaways. Slash and abuse.


**Saw in another story that Jaime has a sister named Milargo? Spanish and thoughts will be in **_italics_**. Cover art is by crashingthatmode on tumblr.**

"Dude, you okay?" Bart asked, pulling away from Jaime.

"What do you mean?" Jaime asked.

Bart got off Jaime's lap and sat down next to him on Jaime's bed. "You just seem... out of it, that's all." Jaime was silent. "Is it because you couldn't find your friend, Ty? Because I totally get it if you want to talk about it or something."

"No," Jaime replied. "I'm fine, _hermano_, don't worry."

There was a knock on the door and Jaime's mom came in. "Dinner will be ready in a little bit, _hijo_. Bart, you are welcome to stay."

"No thanks, Mrs. Reyes. I'm eating over at my grandpa's," Bart answered.

"Alright," she said, leaving.

"I should probably get going now," Bart said to Jaime. "What with the different time zones and all."

"Alright, see you later," Jaime said.

Bart gave him a quick kiss before leaving the room. He frowned to himself as he made his way down the hallway. Something seemed different about Jaime.

"Um, Bart," a quiet voice called him.

"Huh?" Bart turned around to face Milargo, Jaime's little sister. She was standing in her room, the door partly open to Bart could only see half of her face.

"Is Jaime okay?" she asked, quietly.

"Sure he is. Why would you ask?" Bart answered immediately.

"Well it's just," Milargo paused, "he's not acting like himself. And he got mad at me the other day, _e incluso cuando le dije que lo sentía,_ _él me gritó_." She slipped into rapid Spanish as she got more upset. Bart tried quickly to translate but all he caught was "I was sorry" and "he yelled".

"Shh, shh, Mila, it's okay," Bart said quickly and gave her a hug. "Your brother's just stressed, okay? I'm sure he didn't mean to yell at you." Bart wasn't sure whether he was convincing her or himself but Milargo calmed down.

She nodded at Bart. "_Vale_."

"Crash, I have to go now but I'll see you tomorrow," Bart said as he stood up.

"_Hasta luego_, Bart," Milargo said, smiling at him.

Bart thought about what she had said as he ran to Barry's. Jaime must be really out of it if he yelled at his little sister. From the way he had seen them interact, that would have been completely out of character. Jaime was the nicest older brother a girl could hope for. He hadn't even argued when she asked if he'd play with her when he are Bart were going to hang out. He had asked Bart if they could reschedule. He was still frowning when he got to Barry's.

"Bart, are you okay?" Iris asked him has he sped into the kitchen and sat on a stool.

"Yeah, fine," he answered absent mindedly as he kept thinking.

"Can you set the table? Wally will be over any minute and then we'll start dinner," Iris told him.

"Oh, sure, Grandma," Bart said.

**...**

Jaime watched helplessly as Bart got up from his bed. He could see what was happening, he could hear the words being said, but he couldn't feel or move his own body. He only felt more helpless as he watched Bart lean down to kiss him. He couldn't even feel his boyfriend kiss him! The Scarab had taken that when he went back on mode, and now, Jaime was a prisoner in his own skin. For what seemed like the millionth time, Jaime cursed himself for being so stupid. Sure, Miss M had said Green Beetle was on their side, but his scarab had obviously tricked her. If only he had listened to Bart. Bart had told him not to worry about the scarab, but Jaime just couldn't handle the possibility of joining the Reach. It was pointless now. His scarab was in full control of his body and wasn't doing the best job of keeping his cover if Bart knew something was up.

He heard Bart talking to Milargo in the hall and felt bad all over again. She had looked like she was about to cry when the Scarab yelled at her the other day. She had been shying away from him ever since. The Scarab left his room and walked down the hallway when his mom called for dinner. Bart must have said something to Milargo because she hugged him when he got into the kitchen.

"_Te amo_, Jaime," she said.

_I love you too, Mila._ Jaime thought.

"_Te amo_, Mila," he heard the scarab say back.

"I'm glad to see you two are getting along again," his mom said as they sat down.

* * *

If Jaime had control over his body, his breath would have hitched when Bart leaned back and smiled at him.

_Please Scarab. _Jaime begged as he saw Bart start to kiss him again.

All he wanted was to feel his lips against his again. Surprisingly, the Scarab complied. Jaime regained feeling in his body. Bart was holding him close as his tongue slowly explored the inside of his mouth. Kissing Jaime was the only time Bart ever seemed to slow down, wanting to enjoy it for as long as possible. Jaime wanted to pull him closer and tangle Bart's hair in his fingers. His body complied, though it was only so the Scarab could keep up appearances. Jaime sighed and moved his head down to start kissing Bart's neck. It was only later, when both boys had pulled away, panting, that Jaime realized that the Scarab had given him full control of his body while he had made out with Bart. If only he had realized, he might have been able to warn Bart about the Scarab's takeover.

**-Negative, host.- **Jaime heard the Scarab say. **-The moment your consciousness became aware of the freedom over your vocal cords, this unit would have taken back control.-**

**...**

"The ties the host formed with The Impulse before I came back on mode are proving problematic," the Scarab said to Black Beetle and Green Beetle that night.

"Then cut the ties, Brother," Black Beetle said.

_Cut the ties?_ Jaime thought in a panic. It was one thing to be controlled by the Scarab but if he had to watch it break Bart's heart outright...

"Ha, the host doesn't appear to find this course of action appealing," the Scarab said. "Though it does pose a good argument. Outright 'breaking Bart's heart' would not be considered normal. If paying close attention, The Nightwing may suspect something."

"It it possible to scare The Impulse away from the host? It may prove better to the mission if The Impulse stays away from the host in any case," Green Beetle suggested.

"I will try that course of action," the Scarab replied.

"And if it fails, despite the Nightwing's possible detection of the switch, you must simply cut the ties," Black Beetle said.

* * *

"Hey, _hermano_," Bart said into the phone. "Want to hang out?"

"Hey, _ese_, now's not a great time, I really should be studying," the Scarab answered.

"'S cool. I'll come over and help," Bart said.

"My parents aren't home though," the Scarab tried to argue. "They took Milargo out to see a movie."

"Even better! Be over in a sec!"

**...**

"Bart! I said shut up!" The Scarab yelled.

"Sorry man, I get it, you're trying to study, I'll-" Bart was cut off suddenly as the Scarab punched him and sent him flying across the room. Jaime watched in horror as Bart put his hand to his cheek. A bruise was already forming but Jaime knew it would be gone in a day or so.

"Jai-Jaime?" Bart asked in disbelief.

_Bart... I'm so sorry._ Jaime thought. He felt like his heart was being broken as he looked into Bart eyes. They were full of shock and pain, but also fear. Bart was afraid of him and it was like a knife cutting into Jaime's heart.

"Bart, I'm so sorry."

Jaime only felt more hatred for the Scarab as it used his own words to redeem itself with Bart.

"It- it's crash man. Sorry for talking your ear off. I'll just go get some snacks." And with that, he was gone.

**-The Impulse seemed adequately afraid. A few more hits and he won't be a problem anymore.-**

_Don't you even think about hitting Bart again._ Jaime thought angrily back at it.

**-You speak as though you have a say in the matter. You are mistaken.-**

_But why do you have to hurt him?_

**-Taking time to ensure your bond stays stable is wasted time. Time we could be using to further help the Reach.-**

**...**

"Jaime, that hurts," Bart said pitifully as the Scarab punched him in the stomach again.

"You're a speedster, you'll heal up in no time," the Scarab said as he punched Bart again, this time with an armored fist.

Inside his head, Jaime was screaming at the Scarab to stop.

**-Quiet yourself or I will inflect more pain on The Impulse.-**

Jaime quickly shut up. The Scarab delivered one last punch, making sure Jaime could feel his fist making contact with Bart's face.

**...**

"Hey Bart!" Barry said cheerfully as Bart came into the house.

"Hey Grandpa," Bart said as he sat down on a bar stool.

"Is that a bruise on your cheek?" Barry asked with concern.

"Oh yeah, no big deal," Bart said quickly. "Had to take out some guys in civilian garb. Keeping speed down leads to more injuries."

"And it looks like you're getting a black eye," Barry commented. He then rushed out of the room to grab a medical kit.

"No, Gramps, it's crash, really," Bart called after him. It was too late. Barry came back with the kit and opened it.

"Take off your shirt," he said. "There's a scratch on your side that's bleeding." Barry was pointing to the blood seeping through Bart's shirt.

Bart winced as he remembered that one. He had been trying to dodge and his shirt had flow up and Jaime' metal fist made a pretty nasty gash. Thankfully it had healed up a bit since then and wasn't bleeding as bad.

"Shit," Barry swore as he saw the other bruises and scrapes that covered Bart's chest. "I know you have to keep up appearances but you don't have to get but that bad."

Bart tried to laugh convincingly. "I'll keep that in mind next time," he said.

"Uncle Barry, you home?" Wally's voice came from the front door.

"In the kitchen, kid!" Barry called back.

"Whoa," Wally commented after seeing Bart. "What happened?"

"He tried fighting some guys in his civies," Barry explained. Wally's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You boys want something to eat? I can run out and grab something."

"I'm in the mood for Chinese," Wally said. "What about you Bart?"

Bart knew Wally wanted to talk to him alone. He figured he might as well get it over with instead of putting it off.

"Chinese sounds great. There's this really good place I know," Bart said enthusiastically and wrote down the name.

"Alright, I'll be back in a flash," Barry said before taking off.

"Wow, never thought that phrase would get annoying," Bart said, trying to make conversation with his cousin.

"Cut the act, Bart. You know you didn't get those bruises by fighting in your civies," Wally said.

"What are you talking about? 'Course I did."

"You got those and then ran, for a long time. That's why they haven't healed," Wally said. "Come on, Bart, I know what I'm talking about. Don't lie to me."

"It's nothing," Bart insisted. "Nothing I can't handle anyway," he amended.

Wally grabbed some apples from the fruit basket. "Eat," he commanded.

"Come on, Wally, Gramps will be back any minuet with food," Bart protested.

Wally glared at him.

"Fine," Bart said and ate an apple.

**...**

"Dick."

"Wally? What's up?"

"I'm worried about Bart."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"I came over to Barry today and Bart was covered in bruises and some cuts. He said he got them from fighting off a guy in his civies, but I'm not buying it."

"Why not?"

"If he had the majority would have healed by the time I had gotten over. Also those aren't the types of bruises you get from fighting back."

"Who could be hurting him that he wouldn't fight back?"

"I don't know. That's why I'm telling you. Maybe someone on the team knows something."

"I'll talk to Jaime when everyone comes over for training."

"Good. Any news from Artemis?"

"She got a coded message to me an hour ago. M'gann is still fixing Kaldur's mind but there's a problem."

"Isn't there always?"

"Psimon is there. Artemis put him in a coma for a while but it's going to wear off soon."

"Fucking perfect."

* * *

"Hey, Jaime, can I talk to you?" Nightwing called him over as the other team members were sparing.

"Sure Nightwing what is it?" Jaime asked as he came over.

"Wally saw some bruises on Bart the other day and he's worried someone might be hurting him. Someone he knows and trusts," Nightwing said.

_Me!_ Jaime screamed.

**-Quiet-**

"He seemed fine to me," the Scarab answered. He looked concerned. "I'll talk to him about it."

"Alright, don't pry too much if he doesn't want to talk. Just make sure he's okay," Nightwing said.

"Will do."

"What did Nightwing want?" Bart asked as Jaime went over to stand by him.

"Just criticizing me some more. He really pisses me off sometimes," he said angrily.

"You're great, _hermano_, don't let him bother you," Bart said, giving Jaime's hand a reassuring squeeze.

* * *

"Impulse, come over here," Nightwing called as Tim and Bart finished their spar.

"Sure, what's up?" Bart asked, trying very hard not to let his bitterness for the man seep into his voice. As far as Bart was concerned, it was Nightwing's fault Jaime was so angry all the time. And why Bart was normally the one he took his anger out on. Not that Bart could bring himself to care about that part anymore. He would do anything for Jaime, even if that was to be Jaime's own personal punching bag.

"Your moves are getting a bit slow. Why don't you grab a snack to refuel?" Nightwing said.

Bart nodded. He walked into the kitchen and looked in the now much smaller fridge for some food. He was taking out the stuff to make himself a sandwich when Jaime walked in and grabbed a glass of water. Bart froze for a whole second. Recently, Jaime had told Bart it was really disgusting when he ate large amounts of food really fast. So instead of the triple-decker sandwich he had planned on eating, he just grabbed the jelly from the fridge and made a simple PB&J. He took a famished bite when it was done, closing eyes and smiling. However, when he opened his eyes, he saw Jaime glaring at him. He quickly put the sandwich down. Jaime glared at him for a little longer before Bart left the room. The sandwich lay unfinished.

_He's starving himself!_ Jaime shouted out the Scarab. It was pointless but Jaime couldn't help it.

**- The Impulse shouldn't care about what you think. If it didn't care, it would have refueled itself. -**

The Scarab moved the sandwich to the trash and went back to the front room. It was Bart's turn to spar again. Wondergirl got a hit in right off the bat and Bart went flying into the wall.

"Oh my gosh, Bart, I'm so sorry!" she cried, rushing over to help him up.

"Nah, it's crash. Nice hit," Bart reassured her. His cracked rib was already knitting itself back together, though not as fast as it should have.

**...**

"Hey, Bart, Jaime, you want to go get lunch with me and Roy?" Tim asked later.

"Actually, Bart and I were going to hang out at my house," the Scarab answered before Bart could.

To anyone else, Jaime looked simply apologetic at being unable to make it. But Bart saw the look in his eyes. Bart was in for a serious beating if he went with Jaime. It would have been so easy for Bart to say he wanted to go to lunch, he was hungry enough for five, but he was almost afraid to contradict Jaime. All he had to do was open his mouth, but that would only make Jaime worse. So he smiled at Tim and Roy and said they would all hang out later.

_Bart, why didn't you just go with them?_ Jaime thought as they went back to his house. He knew what the Scarab had planned for Bart when they got home. If Bart didn't fight back, and he didn't anymore, then he should consider himself lucky if he was even able to make it home.

**...**

They entered the empty house and went into Jaime's room. The Scarab slammed Bart up against the door and raised his fist.

_No!_ Jaime yelled as Bart flinched.

The Scarab chuckled and then leaned in and kissed Bart roughly. He pressed up against him and Bart found himself relaxing into the familiar touch. This was the Jaime he had missed; the Jaime who loved him and didn't hurt him. Bart sighed contently and went to tangle his hands in his hair. But then, the Scarab stopped abruptly and punched Bart in the gut. He choked as the wind was knocked out of him. The Scarab stepped away as Bart fell to the floor, gasping for breath.

"You honestly think I mean any of that," the Scarab spat at him. Bart looked up as Jaime came closer. "I never meant any of it," he hissed.

Bart felt his heart shatter. No... He couldn't mean that, he was just mad. He tried desperately to convince himself.

The Scarab picked him up again and punched him in the face. As Bart got up, Jaime saw that his nose was bleeding. The Scarab punched him again and then formed his arm into a blade. Jaime stopped looking. He didn't want to see what was going to happen to Bart.

But he heard it.

Bart's scream of pure agony.

Bart had turned around to run to the other side of the room, but he was running on empty. The Scarab's blade had slashed through his back. Blood seeped up from the wound as Bart lay on the ground. The Scarab grabbed his hair and yanked his head up. Bart whimpered in pain.

"Get up," he growled at him. He stepped back as Bart stood up. Jaime couldn't believe the damage that had been done. As soon as Bart was standing, the Scarab lashed out again, kicking Bart's right leg and punching him in the ribs at the same time. Bart screamed as the Scarab hit the same spot that had just been injured by Cassie.

Bart fell to the ground again.

_Bart, run. Please run._ Jaime pleaded with him.

Bart looked up at Jaime. There was something off; the anger no longer reached his eyes. They were desperate and pleading.

_Please, Bart. Run._

**- It cannot hear you. –**

But Bart listened anyway. He stood up and ran as fast as he could to the first place that came to mind.

**...**

"Oh my god, Bart!" Wally started in disbelief at the boy on his doorstep. Bart's nose had started to bleed again as he reached Wally's neighborhood, his shirt was cut in several places, and he was putting all his weight on his left foot. "Dude, what happened?" Wally asked as he led Bart to the couch.

"Jaime's not acting like himself," Bart muttered.

"Jaime did this to you?" Wally growled.

"No," Bart protested. "It's not him. I know it's not."

"Bart! He's been beating you up for at least a month! If not longer," Wally argued.

"It's not him!" Bart yelled at Wally. He curled up into the fetal position as he started to cry. "It's not him, it's not him," he repeated over and over.

* * *

"Jaime? Is that really you?" Bart asked, afraid to believe the Scarab had been taken off mode.

"It's me, _hermano_. I promise, it's me," Jaime reassured him, tears in his eyes. Bart still wasn't fully convinced. "Bart, please believe me," Jaime pleaded, his voice breaking. "I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to hurt you. Please, Bart, believe it's me. Bart, _te quiero_."

Bart searched his eyes. There was a light in them that he hadn't seen since the Green Beetle incident. He could see the pain in them, too. The pain he was causing by not believing that it was really Jaime this time. As he saw this he realized what Jaime had said. 'Te quiero' he had said; 'I love you'.

Bart rushed forward and clung to Jaime tightly. Jaime hugged him back with equal force.

"I love you, too," Bart whispered to him.

**-... .-.. ..- . .-. ..- .-.. ... .**

Bart woke up with a yell. His breath came out in short, rapid gasps. He quickly moved away from Jaime's side and pulled his knees up to his chest. Three years later and he was still having flashbacks.

"Bart?" Jaime asked hesitantly.

"It's fine. I'm crash. Just go back to sleep."

Jaime knew he was lying though. He slowly reached out and wrapped his arms around Bart, pulling him close.

"_Lo siento_," Jaime whispered.

"You don't have to apologize," Bart told him.

"But it's my fault."

"It wasn't you. Plus it's my fault for telling you about the Scarab going back on mode and freaking you out."

"I'm still sorry," Jaime said, kissing Bart's temple.

Bart relaxed into Jaime embrace. "If I accept your apology for something that isn't your fault, will you stop apologizing?"

"_Tal vez_."

Bart turned his head to give Jaime a tender kiss on the lips. "Then I forgive you. Now go back to sleep."

Jaime lay back down, bringing Bart with him and holding him close. Bart heard Jaime's breathing get deeper, but he couldn't fall asleep. Every time his eyes closed, he saw Jaime cruelly smiling at him as he went in for another hit.

"It's not him," he whispered to himself. That phrase had become his mantra to say every time he remembered. "It's not him. It's not him. It's not him." He closed his eyes again but the image wouldn't go away.

_It's not him. It's not him. It's not him._

Jaime shifted next to him and snuggled closer. That was Jaime. That was the one who loved him. Not the one with the cold eyes. Not the one who broke his body and his heart.

The evil image flashed through his mind again.

_It's not him. It's not him. It's not him._


End file.
